Heal and Hurt

God says to man, "I heal you, therefore I hurt, love you, therefore punish." Rabindranath Tagore.

I have been healed, and now got hurt......

Waiting for another healing, or hurting...

Long long time

It's been too long. Feeling so frustrated. Got lost! Need help!

Rewrite: "Tom's Diner" by Suzzane Vega

Introduction of the topic:

I’m going to write something about one of my favorite TV shows named “Miami Ink” which is played on the channel “travel & living”, and that is also one of my favorite channels. Just by the name of the show, you may not sure what it talks about. But you can easily realize that is happened in Miami. Actually, it’s a show about tattoo. Here’s the story: There’s a man named “Ami James” who is a tattoo artist and really does a good job in this career. Ami started a tattoo shop with his good friend “Chris Nunez” who is also a wonderful tattoo artist. There are totally five awesome tattoo artists in Ami and Chris’ shop. They are “Ami James”, “Chris Nunez”, “Chris Garver”, “Darren Brass”, and “Kat Von D”. Kat is the only female tattoo artist and also the youngest one that she is just 24 years old in that shop. Besides that, Kat is the best tattoo artist in black-white portraits. Also is Garver an amazing tattoo artist, he is recognized as one of the best tattoo artists in the world. The show not just shows the amazing and beautiful tattoos they made, but also shows the stories of their customers. Every tattoo has an unique meaning from the owner. And that is the point of “Miami Ink”; it shows people the story of other’s life which you can’t just realize or just happened on you.

The song:

I am sitting in the dark night.3

At the time of eleven o’clock.4

I am watching channel 20th. 5

For the show named “Miami Ink”. 6 7

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And the show’s played only an hour. 8

And before I’m already tired.9

It is starting at the eleven.10

When my Mom’s going to bed. 11 12

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”My name is Ami James”. 13

Says the man owns the shop. 14

To the audiences front the TV 15

They’re ready for the show. 16 17

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Ami introduces other members 18

And they are amazing tattoo artists 19

I’m staring every second 20

And don’t want to miss a thing 21 22

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And someone opened the door. 23

There’s a man with his wife 24

Who wants a tattoo about his son lovely 25

It was a story I can’t imagine26 27

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And I’m listening very carefully28

And eager for the story29

When he’s telling the story peacefully30

And so I feel shocked 31 32

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There was a trip one year ago 33

Not very long. Do I want to remember? 34

No I don’t want to remember at all35

Cause I killed my son is a terrible memory36 37

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When I was backing my car 38

That my son’s running after me 39

And while I’m feeling something’s wrong 40

My son’s dead because of me 41 42

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Oh, this wound will not disappear 43

Through many years after I’m telling you 44

To the memory of my son 45

I am coming for a tattoo... 46 47

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And I want a colorful dragonfly48

Once upon a time it used to be my son’s love... 49

He finished his story 50

It’s time to catch the tears 51 52

Da da da da...

My Favorite

Nothing special, I just suddenly want to write something about my favorite.
My favorite number 1 : TENNIS
I can get up so early for playing tennis, even I went to sleep very late. And it's really hard for me to get up early to do other things like that.
I can bear the terrible sunshine for hours when I play the lovely yellow ball. I don't care whether I will get sunburn or not. And actually I often get sunburn. When you really love it, nothing else is important at all. I seldom see girls in the court, and I think that sunburn must be the mainly reason. Most of girls are afraid of being "dark", they always want to be "snow white". But I think that dark skin makes you look very healthy. So, I'm not afraid of that at all.

My Favorite number 2: BEACH
I really love beaches. The beach is the most wonderful place in the world for me. The sea, the sun, the sky, everything. Everything is just so wonderful, so amazing. Actually, I do not go to beaches very often but I really hope I do more in the future.

My Favorite number 3: MIAMI INK
I've got into a TV show named "Miami Ink" for a pretty long time. It's played on channel "Travel and Living", one of my favorite channels. There are 5 maestros in Miami Ink: Ami James, Chris Nunez, Chris Garver, Darren Brass, and Kat Von D. Every of them is so amazing. I didn't think that tattoos are good looking years ago, but now I realize that is because I hadn't seen any beautiful one. The tattoos they made are just so beautiful, and they make me understand that tattoo is actually a kind of arts. Seeing the program, you don't just see how they make a beautiful tattoo. You also "see" the stories about their customers. There are so many stories that you can never imagine. Some are happy, some are sad. Just like our life, always filled with happiness and sadness. In fact, the show just shows us what is our life like. Maybe that's the reason why I love it, "Miami Ink".

After When Harry met Sally

In my opinions, I don’t think that a man and a woman can not be “just friends”. Just like what Sally thinks. And in my experience, I’ve had so many “boy” friends who are close to me. They’ve always made me feel so comfortable and really easy to get along. What’s important is we all know there is no any special “chemical reaction” would happen on us. Maybe there is a reason because I am not a very “female” girl, which means I’m not so feminine. Sometimes I speak like a boy, and sometimes I am just very burly. A typical rantipole actually, not like a real “lady”. I think that maybe my “boy” friends just think I am a boy, too. So they will never fall in love with me, and I will not either. They won’t “love” me because of they think I am just a boy, too. But what’s the reason that makes me not to fall in love with them?

I usually fall in love with a boy when I first meet him. I will know whether I like the guy or not at the beginning. If I like him I will try really hard to be with him. If not, we will be just friends. And if I fall in love with someone doesn’t have any interest on me, I will give up and won’t expect to be good friends with him. One of my best friends is a boy; he is a handsome guy in my class. We are so close that sometimes we go out at night and doing nothing maybe just taking a ride or eating something. Usually we do these things with boyfriend or “friends”, but there are just two of us. Of course when I have a boyfriend I will never go out with a guy alone, even the guy is my best friend. There is not a special relationship between us, but to avoid anything that may bring aspersion is necessary. I think maybe that is the difference between Western and Eastern. It’s maybe a kind of different thought.

Journal 4 Harry n Sally

Harry’s Journal:

Although I just could not bear to part with my lovely Amanda, I left Chicago toward New York finally. I have been thinking about that day for so long. And I took the ride with one of Amanda’s girl friends named Sally. She was cute and attractive but just with a little bit censorious. I’ve never met someone who has so many requests while ordering. She is the first one. If I were the waiter, I would think that the girl was so hard to deal with. And you know the journey was long that we must have to talk about something interesting to make us not to feel too bored. After some conversations, I just found out that she really loved to get to the bottom of an affair. I did not know whether she was too innocent or something. Sometimes I felt that her thought was so hard to understand. How come a woman and a man could be just friends? And a woman has to make a man believe that she is satisfied by pretending? I just can’t figure them out. But still I think she was adorable. After years, she’s still attractive and also softer.

Sally’s Journal:

Just on my way from Chicago to New York, there was a man called Harry Burns, Amanda’s boyfriend who took the ride with me. I’m really wondering what kind of people Amanda’s boyfriend was! I just can’t understand him. His thought was just so conflicting. At the first, he said that a man can’t be just a friend with a woman he finds attractive. Then, he thought that I am attractive but he extremely understood that there was no special relationship between us. What was that? So incongruous! Of course I don’t want to have any special relationship with him. We don’t have any common opinions, and what we thought was completely different. I don’t think we would match. Somehow I thought that we might not meet each other again which is a great thing to me. Who will know that we would meet again and again? After getting into conversation with him now, I think that maybe he is just not so bad.

My Lovely Chilhood

Thank God, I feel so lucky that my parents never treat me like” Perfect”. Of course they’ve always wanted me to be a great person. They’ve always wanted me to be good at grades or everything, but they just never push me or coerce me into doing something I don’t have any interest in. They let me do anything I want, of course not bad things. Like many other people, I have learned so many talents and skills since I was a little, but without my parent’s commands, I wanted to learn them by myself. I asked them to let me practice ballet, drawing, play the piano and the clarinet, and they just never said” No”. Maybe just because they never reject me and push me, I could do all those things without strains so that I could do them very well. I also feel lucky to have a wonderful time in elementary and high schools, especially my elementary school life. I was in the school band, and we were all in the same class, our teacher was also our bandmaster. Because we took the courses together, practiced the instruments together, and even often slept together because of having performances around, we had a very special relationship, and we were really close. That’s a really wonderful memory to me. When it comes to a friend, who was very close to me but is no longer with me, of course I would say one of my classmates in elementary. Her name is Cathy. Actually we’d been in the same class not even two years. Both of us were leaders, she used to played the flute, and I used to played the clarinet. She was born in the U.S. and came to Taiwan for educating about four years, three in our school, and one in Taipei American School. After we graduated from elementary, she just went back to America without any message, and we just lost contact. We were very close, and we’d always had fun together. These years, I have always thought of her, and I thought we could never meet again. Until last year, I got a phone call from her; I was so surprised and can’t believe that was true. We just exchanged e-mails and having written each other since then. Recently, she plans to come to Taiwan and visit us, I am so excited to see her now and I just can’t wait!

Ideal Love Relationship

To me, I love the song “Head Over Feet” the most. It really depicts my ideal love relationship. I think the one is someone who can always listen to you, talk to you, and take care of you, and of course you love everything about him just like he loves everything about you. He treats you like a princess, and he doesn’t care about weather you treat him like a slave, he would love to do everything you want. Also, you will be pleasure to do everything good for him. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a chance to meet someone who puts me head over feet, and I also think that is very hard to happen on me. I would have that kind of thought not because I don’t believe in love, I do, but there’re really few people say “ Oh, I found my real love.” in the reality. Actually, I really hope I can find someone who makes me feel that I could always depend on, and he loves me as I love him. Everyone wants a relationship without lying, but in our real life mendacities always appear. Even though, we should still believe in love. About unhappy love and grief songs, I think that” I Grief” is the most touching to me. I think I can realize the feeling that lyrics talked about. Once I had that experience and it’s really hard to pass by. You will see the things he left and trying to evoke some memories you two had. You will do these things day by day until someday you just figure out that life goes on, there’s no reason to do the stupid things. Someday when you are awake, you will think yourself a fool for being sad to a person who left you. And then, you start to pick up the things and release yourself. Even though those days are long and hard, one day it will stop. Life will go on, everything will be perfect. Everything’s gonna be okay. It’s hard to avoid being grieved when that thing happens, but it’s important to let yourself get out of that as soon as possible.

My PLANS

Being a junior student, I should take the responsibility to my life, my future. So far I've set up some plans, I don't know whether I can realize them or not, but I will do my best. First of all, I will apply for the exchange student with my friend Bernice. If that goes smoothly, we will study abroad for one year. When we are back, we will start working. My second plan, after working 2 or 3 years, I will prepare to go abroad to study the MBA program. Work exporience for 2 or 3 years is necessary. If things can really go on the right way, I'll be very appreciated.

Be a junior

Not freshman anymore?? Please, I'm a junior already. So far, I enjoy this life, I enjoy being a junior. Until now, I just really really realize that I DO major in economics. It sounds a lit bit too exaggarated. The reason makes me feel that way is because some of lectures I take this semester I think can be pratically used in reality easily, not just like microeconomics or macroeconomics we've learned before. It's something that you can really get yourself in it, actually I mean the course named "foreign exchange market". The lecturer is young and already very successful. I really admire him. Because of the coures, I've learned lot of things about investing and that is really interesting I think. In the future, I don't want to be a person who just knows how to earn money by YOURSELF but do not know how to manage them in a smart way. If you realize to manage your money in a right way, you can use your money to earn more money. So I made up my mind to let myself be that kind of smart person.